[ Chances ]

In this world, everything is up to chance.

If you get the chance, then you can choose.

Sometimes, you don't even get that chance to choose.

I wonder why we have feelings sometimes.

It's sort of a bother when it comes to depressing and disappointing moments.

However, there's no "perfect" world, therefore we will always feel.

I just hope and pray that, i can selfishly get the chance to provide.

I wanna provide for you and for her. 

I wanna get the chance to let you see i'm happy.

I wanna get the chance to have you not worry about me anymore.

And finally, i wish i can get the chance to see you smile without regrets.

I wanna see you have no fear of death.

And i want you to be happy.

I wish i can be selfish and commend death.

But i cannot, so i can only pray.

Whatever i cannot do, i leave it to God.

God has His plans. 

As someone who believes in God, I will accept what is coming.

I'm not worried.

Neither am i upset about this situation.

But i wanna spend more time without being awkward.

And i wanna pass a message.

This message says;

"I'm happy. I'll always be happy because you were all there for me. I know that i will cry sometimes and i know that i'll make bad decisions sometimes. But know this, I do not fear or worry, because i have God with me. He has already planned everything since my birth. But i didn't know until I came to believe in Him so strongly. I don't show things much on the surface; I think more than i act. It might not be a good thing at certain points in time. So, please don't worry and let me know everything down to the last detail. Then, i can accept it and be happy. Don't worry about me, i'm grown up, i know what to do. I may not earn a single cent now and i might be demanding, but i'll do everything i can once i've really really grown up, to provide and make you and me both happy."

Elixian