[ Abyss ]
Monday, February 15, 2016 @ 1:06 AM
Abyss
Recently, i've been playing music, focusing on my studies.
But today, this moment, it's nothing like that.
This music that plays in the bg, that i've been looping -
it's such a haunting melody
for some reason, i love this piece
it has so much emotions mixed into one piece
The short film that it was composed for may play a part
But think about it.
on the side note,
i've fallen head over heels for this person i met some months back
disappointment after disappointment
i'm numb now
I feel like a fool as always
i'm always seeking love, acceptance and comfort
i always look for people
I'm still not comfortable being "alone"
sometimes i wish there were ear pieces i can wear to sleep
no wires - just playing that music i love
let it caress me to sleep
Why do i still continue to fall so helplessly in love with someone i clearly know
won't love me back?
Why is a part of me still clinging on to the hope that
"somewhere down the road it'll change for the better"?
In this moment, my emotions take over
in this moment, i'm just a girl
in this moment, i am simply human
in this moment, i'm nothing but a fool
I feel like i've failed myself.
Self-pity, seems to be...comforting right now...
This blog, every entry.
It's is every step of my journey.
I see how i've changed.
This blog is every proof i'm broken
i'm just someone with a burden who no one wants to carry
sometimes i wonder,
can i consider myself "normal"?
I haven't cried for so long even when being rejected.
I think i'm numb.
I wish I didn't have to feel so many emotions
only when i need to.
