[ Warm Home & Cold Wars ]
Sunday, August 02, 2015 @ 4:23 AM
Home Sweet Home
I'm finally home from my 3 months OIP to the States, Washington, Redmond.
During that 3 months, a lot happened.
Mainly all i can remember is relationships falling apart.
I lost 3 friends. Firstly, a guy who I was close to on and off,
he finally decided to cast me off.
Secondly, a guy who never considered me as a friend,
but i saw him as one of my closer friends.
Lastly, the girlfriend of the second guy I mentioned.
It's pretty obvious who i'm talking about if you knew me personally.
The only person I regret losing is the girl.
Because i simply thought she's so much better than that.
I thought she had it in her.
She's nice. Too nice. But still it's a good nice.
I don't think she "de-friend" me but still - you can sense that tension.
The other 2 guys on the other hand has deleted me off their game friend list.
Treating me like i'm invisible.
Sure i'm not harm, and i won't do anything to harm anyone.
I don't see a reason to hate.
But my dear "friends"
Look at yourselves. You're much older than I am;
yet you're so childish.
Avoiding people, creating drama
then complaining you don't wanna be part of it
Lastly. There is 1 man that I have lost, likely.
I'm 97% sure - but not 100%
Though he said he won't ever walk away.
I want him to walk away
away from me
But I'm this close.
I know
He will walk away
This is the end of this relationship
It was a short one
But I need to do this.
I have to be single
I have to be alone
I'm not fit to be someone's yet.
Until I'm my own.
I am broken.
I'm trying to fix myself.
But i'm so confused.
Eliana
