[ Excuses ]
Tuesday, March 04, 2014 @ 6:58 PM
Excuses
What are my reasons to stay?
I praise you whenever you're not around.
Why do i do that?
Why do i tell myself, i have to keep this going?
I think i'm just scared.
I'm unable to admit defeat
To hear my mom nagging at me saying
"See? what did i tell you about committing so much?"
I know, honestly, in my heart.
If i want it, i can do it
But whenever i look at you and at where you're really looking.
It's really hurtful isn't it?
I know you don't want to hurt me.
So the best way to solve this is that i give up and just treat you like my friend.
That way you don't have the guilt of not loving me.
Yet you won't lose your "friend".
Then when you look at her with your eyes,
you can think to yourself,
now i don't have a chain behind me pulling me down.
I can move forward and wait.
I don't have a knife pointing at my back
telling me i can't.
What are my reasons?
What do i lose.
You keep saying you don't wanna commit because you haven't decided.
But why is it every time i bring up this topic,
i feel this pressing urge that tells me i'm stupid and i should go away?
If i really love you, i would give up on you right?
Let you go and be happy.
But humans are selfish.
we want what will make us happy.
Elixian
