[ Courage ]
Friday, April 09, 2010 @ 10:26 PM
There are times in life when we doubt ourselves.
It happens to everyone when they have to make important decisions.
This post here is for someone i know and although i know that this person will not read it. I hope that somehow this person will find it.
We always think that we're never good enough. As you said, in this world you can never be first in everything. It takes a lot of courage to be able to make a decision when you are unclear or doubtful. But in the end you did make a decision, so make the best out of it.
Don't be so negative. This is coming from a person who has cried many many times because she felt that she isn't as good as you. You got to believe in yourself, at least.
You said you have zero confidence. So what made you think i had any?
I have my own doubts too. Whether or not I've picked the right course. I urge you to not to be affect by what people say. Yes we are close to you. And you are the smartest amongst us. I hope you're able to think more.
You said i scold you every time you talk to me. Do you know why?
It is because I am jealous of you. I envy you. Have you ANY idea how badly i wanted to be like you? why i made so many decisions? You may argue against everything I've said here. However, I'd like you to know that, even if my argument here is flawed in as many ways as you can think of, it's not the end.
There's Always A Choice. Even if you made a wrong one, there's always a way out. It's only limited by you alone.
If you are willing to try, it'll work out. Sure you might waste some years studying something you think might not give you a future. But there IS a future. Yes, you can say "It's all about luck" when it comes to getting a job and making it out rich. Having a decent life is hard too. I don't deny it.
You hear me say things like "one day i am gonna be rich!" or "one day i am going to own a big house with a big dog and maids". I dream big. I know there's only that slightest, if not, zero chance of me reaching that.
You are never certain of life. Neither am i. I doubt myself many times. Just that you don't hear me say it. You said i snapped my finger and know what i wanted to study.
I said "follow what you are passionate about." and you tell me "i don't know my passion. I want an ever changing job." I know what you mean. You get bored easily. But life's a bitch you know. They hate us, we can't change that, at least not yet. Who knows you are the one who would change it?
For once, I'd like you to think that you CAN make it. Whatever you're doing it in, though we may not like it, but we'll make it somehow. We may not earn big bucks and be super rich. But isn't a decent life enough?
I'd be happy if i can even HAVE a decent life in future. To be able to support myself financially.
Yeah, yeah. I know, i talk a lot of bullshit right?
Actually, after all this bullshitting, i only wanted to tell you one thing.
"You decide your future. Don't bother regretting it. It'd be a waste of time. You only live ONCE. so even if you hate it. Throw it back in the world's face and tell them "Piss off, i can do it even if i hate it". Makes you feel great doesn't it? heh."
Ah well, i crapped a lot. But honestly. Cheer up. :P
You're old enough to know the facts of this world.
"Change is the only constant"
I hope you'll realize how stupid you have been. And how silly i have become.
~Elixian
