c'est la vie - this is life

Je vis actuellement une vie de folie. Ma tête blesse et mes yeux sont fatigués.

économiser moi ?

tristemente para mí..ésta es vida como sabemos él.

~elixian

isn't it great when you have epic results 1 month away from that major life-deciding event?

I've been talking to my sister lately. Talking about things like music, SID, bands, boys, guys, people, girls, b*tchy people etc. It's always interesting to hear about it.

But when it comes down to just me, i feel lkind of sad. I realised that not evryone understands me. Even if they DO know me, they only know me on the "surface". As in, people would always think i'm fierce just because i raise my voice a little more than norm. Yes, i admit i MAY sound (ok i DO sound fierce). However, i honestly don't mean it. Sometimes yes, it's very obvious you've pissed made me angry cause i show it.

Other times, i'm just fierce cause i'm in a bad mood. My mood got shattered by some insensitive person, people etc. Yeah, maybe i AM really THAT fierce. However, i'm 16, i'm not 18 or 20. I'm still childish. I'm just an ordinary girl. Don't expect me to live up to everyone's expectations.

See, even if you are an adult, you still can't manage to switch yourself until you completely satisfy every single human being. That point is simply commonsense. Yes, i know that when i say certain things like "i think these kind of people are just plain stupid" it's really insensitive and also biased. Why? because, everyone has their right to live.

When people tell me, those who smoke and pollute the air and to add on they are gangsters etc, "they should all just die"? i feel really bad for those people. Yes, i agree i REALLY HATE, people who smoke. (yes i hate smokers, shut up, my lungs are dying Dx don't wanna die farther ;-;)

but honestly, think about it. Its not their choice is it? I mean, yes it's their choice to so and smoke and all, BUT! it's not their choice to be born or not. And perhaps it's because of THEIR upbringing that they become someone who's like that? and not because they wanted to be? I dare say that certain people's view points are really childish.

I mean seriously, don't you think that discrimination is the first "check point" to causing someone to be go against you? and your typical kind of people. Yes i can think really logically and argue against you. However, i can't stop myself from thinking about things that ARE childish in other people's views right?

Haha, think about it (: like what my darling lao gong said: "there will always be other people who would love you". It's true isn't it? even the gangsters you see nowadays, they have girl friends, they have a family (even if they don't care about it etc). Don't tell me when they are like 3 or 5 years old, they're already gangsters and are "bad".

At the end of the day, everyone is a human being, even if you hate it, despise it, loath it, i don't care. Humans can feel. They are born to do it. As a child you would cry. Yes growing up may change you. But it doesn't mean you've NEVER felt before. Don't try to deny that fact. It's the simple truth.

Yes, i can sound like i'm bitching etc now. And all that on the top was bullshit. But, however you want to take it. I'll leave you be.

So what if i end up with no friends? Well, as long as i can fend for myself, live a decent life in future. I don't think that's much of a problem yes? friends are part of life, my dear friend. I know that.

I'm not angry or whatever, and i'm not trying to say you're wrong or anything that offends you. In fact, i thank you for your concern. No i'm not being sacarstic. I'm telling you it's true.

I've noticed. People who know me in real life, tend to think i'm fierce. People who only know my online, think i'm nice. I know it's the way i speak. I've tried to control. But if you guys don't wanna help me, i can't do a thing. I mean, i'm not you.

I know, if someone reads this, especially if they are older and if they are like my sister. She'll tell me it's really childish and i'm stupid etc? and that she can easily argue against my point leaving me defenseless. Yes, i know that. However, i still have my own rights to think of it as that way. I may offend people. But at least i feel know to apologise.

~Elixian
[life may not be like what i perceive it to be. however i can try.]

(: yes i love silent hill.

recently been doing a lot of planning, but aside from that, i've been getting back my results.

Well, prelim obviously didnt go well for me.

It sucked.

yup.

and for people who think my attitude is bad, well, i admit, i KNOW it's bad. you don't have to deal with it. You can leave if you like (: you're more than welcome to do so :D

Yes there are kind people who stick around telling me to change, i mean, i'm not angry or anything, just wondering why sometimes, people don't understand :\

don't know what im' saying? well, try to. cause if you don't, simply means you don't understand me. If you don't understand me, you'll mistake me as some idiot or some person who is asking to be beaten etc.

but yeah, if you DO know me properly, you won't come making comments. Yes, i admit i can bitch about ppl and i will be like any other typical human that just messes around. but really, i mean it when i say:

"Most people don't understand me, they think they do, but they don't."

(:

well, i have nothing more to say? lols

~Elixian
(yes i realized i owe u guys photos etc..but currently, i'm too emotionally and physically drained to even type much...sorry)

watch it it's really touching.. i cope from my friend's blog.. but really i think it's really really touching.. (:

~Elixian

ok, so no matter what, i still don't really trust blogger >__>;;

so, i'll just upload my photos to photobucket and then upload here (: since the html code should work 100% of the time >__>

In any case, i've done a couple of things the past few days, perhaps the week.
[is it me or did blogger change me font?! it looks prettier now lols]

Monday :
I spent my whole day at home =__= sigh, honestly i didn't even go out once during the holidays D:
yes i know i woke up at 11am BUT!!!!! i slept at 3am D: can't blame me right? right?! D:

Tuesday :
Yup, i slept late again at about 2am? iuno, woke up early to go to school (YAY FOR FREEDOM!!!) lols. Got back chemistry paper, and i'm proud to say~ I got the grade i expected :D

I'll let you guess the grade (: it's a grade that only chemistry has gotten my whole secondary life >__>

Went home with Pei Yee :D and Angel :) hehe

Wednesday :
Can't remember what i did, must have been a normal day where by~!
10am, wakes up.
10:15am, plays computer.
12:00nn, eat lunch.
12:15pm, computer more :D
6:00pm, dinner + TV
8:00pm, play with my sis
9:30pm, go upstairs, read chemistry
10:30pm, gives up and lies about playing with lappie <3>.>

Thursday :
I think the same thing happened o.o except, i studied from 2pm to 4:30pm :D hahas <3 message ="__="> Xiu Yi lao gong >:D

Friday :
[DAMN BLOGGER!!! IT DELETED MY FRIDAY AND SATURDAY PART =____=]
i'm really starting to hate blogger Dx GAH.

ok, anyways, it's just the same thing i guess o.o except i didn't study, practiced the piano, played my scores~ oh, printed new scores~ :)

lols i took an hour to type a message =__= it was 8 messages long xDD hehe anyways: Happy Birthday Dennis :P

Slept at 2:30am cause i talked to my sis for 2 hours lols xDDDDD

Saturday:
WOOT! my dad just bought me new handphones :DDDD
another darling to the collection hohohoho~!

1) Lappie~ <3
2) Ipod :D
3) Headphones (x
4) Handphone~
5) Penguin :D
6) Naino~ <3
7) my bed~~ hahahas :D
8) and just one more :] abnormal person according to my sis lols.

hehe okies~
[P.S. i'm a lil hyper now :x please don't mind meh D:]

Well~
[oh blogger's font is the same, just that if you reduce the size it looks prettier @.@ how silly of me D:]

i'm saving for the for following reasons :D
1) A set of headphones for Dennis
2) Lolita for Xiu xiu
3) some books (xiao shuo?) for Angel
4) Either Hello Kitty toy or Music stuffs for Natalie
5) Small gifts for Jordon, Alvin.. etc the guys and Tammy and Winarti o.o

Yes they are all Christmas :) but i'm trying to get them asap (:
Planning to work after O levels, anyone wants to join me? xDD hehe

[before i blow up, thanks to blogger, i'm too lazy to upload the photos now..maybe later? lols, in case you're wondering about the abnormal person, no it's not who you think :D its a normal bishie~ too handsome/hot/shuai for you HAHAHAHAHA *punched*]

~Elixian

NO matter what you wanted to say, that wasn't important.

I just wanted to say sorry for what i did.

My words may have shown something i didn't want you to see.

I'm sorry. Sincerely.

Though you would never read this here, now or in future.

I just want to let you know, i'm really sorry.

I hope you can forget that side of me.

Sorry. ):

I know that you may not be angry, but just i really feel sorry.

Sometimes, i get carried away..

In the end, i still wear that mask, im' still faking it for you to see..

):

~Elixian
P.S. no matter what, i hope you can forget and forgive me ): thankyou..if you do...

Yes, blogger is failing yet again... sigh

i know i haven't updated for years, and i could update.

(i'm just lazy to format and type in my html codes)

Yeah...well~ i'll blog again some other time when blogger's working/functioning properly hahas

Just a little thing:

I enjoyed yesterday :D hahas

~Elixian