[ Encouragement ]
Thursday, November 13, 2008 @ 9:45 PM
i have decided i was tired. That i've had it. But yet, i dare not complain. Why? cause i want to give them "respect"? no.
i read from someone, and i agree with that person, they caused pain.
A few days before that, a saturday. We, the rank holders, went back, some of us without lunch, to help with the BBQ preparations which was on the next saturday. Some of us, got hurt.
we all earned ourselves muscleaches..pain all over. Yet we endured and continue. Then came the wednesday, just yesteray. We all went out, supposed to celebrate, to have fun. And im' sure we did. We were satisfied. Then, we returned to school.
Some of us, went home, the others, stayed on for practice. We were still pretty happy, but we were tired already, we spent so much time having fun. Exhausted ourselves.
Yet, i could tell most of us were happy with the outing. However, it was towards the end that many became disappointed. Many of us, got even more hurt, more injured.
i'll quote from this person i saw from:
"...why i have to endure other people's mistakes..."
That's what we did. We get hurt for others, yet we do not gain respect.
a famous saying:
"Respect is EARNED not GIVEN"
the sentence, i really want to break. For it's obvious we have earned our respect, but yet, it seems like there isn't any respect shown.
At that point of time when i saw people beside me getting up, while i was still down there, hands sliding against the rough floor. it Hurt. but i don't think they care.
They think they know us, but i really think they don't... i realised how i have complained so much. We learnt everything by ourselves...no one taught me, at least.
We all stood up in the end, however after a bit more scolding, we went down again..
normally we'll do 20 recover then do another 20 and it's over, however, we did continuously.. 42..45...47 i think, i collasped... my hurts are hurting.. my legs are shaking... i can't move...
Another person, collasped too, asthma attack. Why? why didn't you stop when you SAW her suffering?! WHY DID YOU NOT REALISED HOW WE ARE SUFFERING?!
yes, you are angry, but does it give you the RIGHT TO KNOCK AND BANG TABLES AND CHAIRS?! we don't deserve the ranks. Yes, if we don't you don't either!!!
look how you treat us?! what are we?! we have kept quiet for 3 years.. 3 BLOODY FREAKING YEARS!!!
why did we stay then? Well, its for the POINTS. WE ENDURE FOR IT. WE EARNED IT...
i don't blame you, but i blame you rather. As a senior, can you allow it? you know it's a mistake, yet you continue.
i encourage you, you who endured so much pain. you who people only look on the surface. you are a great person, if they don't know how to apperciate, then they are not fit to even talk to you, let alone scold or look at you. you define yourself, and i like you simply because you are you.
So stop crying, for i cried too that day, cause i can't stand the pain, i can't walk that time, i regret being so weak, however that is me. I am weak, i hate pain. But as long you don't give up, don't lose to them, you'll make it, one way or another. keep smiling! be STRONG.
i cired that day, i cried for it hurt. it hurt so much till i can't take it, i endured so much, others may have endured more then more, however, i define myself as WEAK, thus, i will fall.
i want to continue, i shouldn't have stopped, i begged my body to continue, but it won't, i broke, my legs gone weak, my arms gone numb, my body just shook non-stop. All i felt was the pain in my body... my arms and my legs... and the cut which i've gotten a few days back from helping them out.
This was the worst one so far, i have nothing more to say to you. only this:
"Think of others, you know them at least on the surface. So, please, think of them, we're not your servants. Yes, it maybe tough being you, however it's the same for us, and maybe worst."
I hate crying, i've said it so many times, yet i cried.
"It hurts, it really hurts...my body can't stop shaking...stop it!!!" that was all i was thinking of...
i hate you, i really really hate you. I LOATHE YOU, WHY DID YOU DO IT TO US?!
just look at he amount of suffering YOU have CAUSED!!!
just look at it...
~Elixian
