i hate you, i hate you, i hate you........

i'm nameless i refuse to be named. i am and idiot for being me

why did i even do it?

i KNOW you will read this but nvr say a word.

i DISLIKE the fact that i am like this.

i HATE the me i am.

i LOATHE you for trying to make me happy.

i DISPISE you.

for...i fear you...

nothing is gonna change for i'm incapable of changing.

hell, what am i even saying? is it to you? i don't even know it myself.

how is it that everyone knows me; and i never know them nor myself.

i DREAD this. why?

why is it ALWAYS me? no one will EVER answer me

why?... really...why?

why why why why why?! WHY?! why the HELL IS IT ALWAYS ME. NEVER THEM. NEVER HER. WHY IS IT THAT I AM WRONG AND THEY ARE RIGHT?!

I NEVER SPEAK OF MY DISLIKES. I AM NEVER TRUE IN WHAT I SAY TO THEM. I BLAME EVERYONE! I BLAME EVERYTHING SINGLE ONE OF THEM.

i blame everyone.. but the most important person...ME.

i refuse to be me anymore. i refuse to be here. i refuse to do anything.

for if i had 1 wish; it'd be:

"I wish to that i was never there, never seen by a single person. i wished i'm never born"

i don't blame the suffering. i blame myself.

because it was me, myself and i that caused it. So, i'll end it. i'll be the one to suffer.

"Because, i'll never be again."

~Elixian

yes, there are people who have gone through worst. however at the point of time. i'm not me. and i've lost many precious things because i'm me. because of me. because of me. it's all because of me... why?

i want an answer, to a question, no one will answer. No one.

my last call for "help" is gone.

"I will change"